Thursday, August 1, 2013

New Look!

I've been absent from blog land so long I just needed a change. The woman I was when I started this blog just isn't the same person I am today. The past few years have brought about both great joy and great sorrow and many mountains to climb, I've learned so much about myself and who I want to be but it hasn't come cheap. I couldn't bring myself to delete the blog though, it felt too permanent so I decided a makeover was in order. The picture I used for my header is actually one I took at the State Botanical Garden in Athens, GA, even in winter that place is amazing although I did cheat and use a template for the rest LOL. I've been longing to come back to my blog but I realized a hard truth about myself. I wasn't practicing what I was preaching. I've always told other people that they have to be honest, completely honest, or they're doing themselves a disservice. I realized I was doing the exact opposite. Not in every way but definitely here, I felt like I couldn't be honest for fear of hurting people I know who read my blog. I guess I was scared that if I said something they didn't like I would lose them but in the end if I can't be honest about my feelings then the relationship is a lie anyway and I'm not losing anything I didn't have. I can no longer worry about that, if I need to vent then that is what I'm going to do. If I don't I will explode and that won't be productive (or pretty) for anyone. A quick update for everyone (or no one since I doubt anyone is still actually reading this LOL) - I'm working now solely as a writer and video editor, sadly unpaid up to now which I'm hoping to remedy soon as our name is starting to get out there. I still have a ton to learn but I'm finally enjoying what I do after almost 20 years in the work force. The wife is working a mundane job that she utterly hates but it pays the bills and we're finally getting caught back up from the hole we've been in for quite some time which helps a little with the hatred. My sweet cuz G has moved on from the music industry, at least for now, she's married and living up north and enjoying life for a while. I truly hope she decides to do something, even if it's just self release an album, she has a gift and it's such a waste to not give it to the world. The process of her changing course was not a happy or pretty one for any of us involved but thankfully we have all been able to forgive and come back together. I still ache sometimes when I hear one of her tracks or run across one of the many pics I took during that time, there was such magic there. Ok, I'm going to move on before I start crying. Geez, I'm such a wimp! LOL I hope to be in here daily, just to get back into the habit of writing daily since the video stuff has taken over lately but I know myself and I tend to get swept up into life and forget to blog. Judge less, forgive easily (including yourself!) and love so hard it hurts. HM

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