Thursday, August 8, 2013

Happy Birthday to ME, LOL

Yes, it is my birthday and no I'm not telling how old I am. Doesn't make much difference anyway, I still feel 20 something :) A lot has been going on in regards to my church life and those relationships that spill over into the personal, I've been struggling with how best to handle the situation and I just got a big shove in the right direction. That Universal 2x4 comes in so many different ways, sometimes mundane and sometimes with a healthy dose of hocus pocus thrown in. That was my case today, I got a free birthday reading from tarot.com, I've been getting their daily horoscopes for years now most of which I ignore because they aren't always on target for me personally. It was a Celtic Cross spread which is one of my favorites, I don't often work tarot but when I do that's what I use, I've found that tarot is not something you want to do very often because it can confuse you if you aren't clear on what you're asking. For those of you who don't believe in that sort of thing that's fine, tarot for me is a way to connect to my subconscious, that part of me that doesn't always come out to play when I need it to or when I'm stupid enough not to listen normally (i.e. to trust myself). I digress. I asked for guidance in regards to the church/friend situation and the answers were clear and empowering, I know what I have to do (though it will be most difficult). I will have to, at least for now, sever the relationship. I can't allow the behavior I've witnessed to go unnoticed and unanswered, I know what I need to know and no matter how much convincing from their side is going to make the actions okay. I still love them, probably always will, but as my favorite aunt always says "when you turn the sound down and watch their actions you'll see the truth". What I find most annoying (this is the rant section in case you're wondering) is that they are accusing our church elders of unethical behavior, something I know to be untrue, and since the split we've come to see that it is in fact their behavior that is unethical - a liar can't believe anyone else. I know they will defend themselves and try to show proof they don't have and normally I would subject myself to that out of a sense of duty or loyalty or whatever but this time I can't. I know my path and where the truth lies and I just don't care anymore to hear the drama and bullshit. Heavy stuff for a birthday :/

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