Being Fat

I am constantly made aware anytime I read and article about weight loss that most people think fat people are lazy. Well I think most people are jerks and sadly I keep getting that judgment reaffirmed as accurate. Maybe the jerks are right though but it has to go beyond laziness, I don't consider myself super lazy (but I will be the first to say I'm not super motivated either) and all being called lazy does for me is to make me hurt. What good does that do? It just seems horribly judgmental and unhelpful to assume that if you're overweight your lazy or gross. It pisses me off. Let's examine your lives before you start throwing around judgment, I'm pretty sure there's something in your closets you wouldn't want exposed. I've been truly fat since my mid twenties but I was told I was fat all through high school by all the boys that I went to school with (at least if felt that way), I would actually get ambushed in the hallways and teased about it. I was all of size 14 when I graduated high school. That's not fat. It's not super model size but Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and she was a sex symbol. I was too young and stupid to realize that either they liked me and were trying to get my attention or they didn't like me and were trying to hurt me but regardless they weren't being honest. I let that eat away at me for years and went from a 14 to 22 throughout my 20s and most of my 30s. I'm trying to take back my body and it's an ongoing and uphill process because it's as much about reprogramming my mind as it is about losing the weight. I will succeed. This time I win. Love each other like there's no tomorrow. HM

Does anyone know how...

to slow life down a little? Any advice? Anyone? Hello...? These days I wake up one day on Monday and the next day I wake up and it's Friday, where the hell did the week go?!? I know the days existed only because I'm freakin' tired. It's really quite irritating because there are things I want to get done but I'm at one job or the other or both most days and when I'm home I lapse into couch potato mode. I can't be irritated at anyone but myself for the couch potatoing, this I know, but it sneaks up on me! I innocently sit down for just a minute to wind down from the day and then 3 hours later I've accomplished nothing except watching TV when I could be writing, crocheting, yardwork, gardening or planning my holiday gift list, etc. I can forgive myself the days that I work both jobs because I don't tend to get home until after 11pm and any iota of energy I had to get things done is gone completely. The days when I only have my day job to go to I don't have any excuse at all except perhaps laziness. I never considered myself lazy but looking back I haven't really accomplished anything big yet, although I did finally finish that baby afghan LOL. Some people would consider a career track an accomplishment and if you're a doctor then I would agree but as an admin assistant turned mortgage processor turned admin assistant I tend to think of it more as a necessity than an accomplishment. Ugh, you know what, I'm sick of the self analyzing. This is boring. Subject change!!
Thanksgiving was actually pretty great even though I was a little upset originally about everyone else going their own way. It was just me, the wife and my parents and really yummy food, it was a nice relaxing day. My Mom grazed all day which is so funny because she eats practically nothing at home. Now on to Christmas! If I can manage to afford the gifts I need without going hungry I will consider it a success - how sad is that.