Calgon take me away!

I need a vacation. I don't mean the kind where you run around sightseeing and shit I mean the hole up in a hotel room for 4 days and sleep kind. I need to be in a different city for a minute, I haven't left Atlanta for an actual vacation (weddings definitely don't count) since 2008. Yep, 4 freakin years. I'm tired. My batteries are on the fritz. I love my work but it's kind of all consuming, I've never had a baby but I would imagine that it's somewhat similar (minus the blinding pain that is). You spend your time carefully baking the cake so to speak, putting everything you are into making sure it's ok and then in one whirlwind week you finalize and export your project and pray the world is gentle with it. Then you're left kind of gutted. Your baby is born and in my case now in the hands of its real parents (i.e. the director LOL) and you're left kind of wandering around missing it and yet so freakin relieved that it's gone it's not even funny. Very at odds with yourself and the world, which you have completely neglected during the process and now have to reintegrate into. I'm working on roughly 3 hours sleep so if I haven't mentioned in my prior post I'm a video editor, a baby one still trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing, but making my way nonetheless. I'm not one of those people that can separate themselves from their work, whether I was on set or not, helped write it or not, or even whether I've even met the cast/crew, etc. I care. I want the baby to bake up to a pretty and delectable cake - hmmm..maybe I need cake. Oooh. Cake. Yeah, did I mention I need a vacation? Sigh......

Yes, I'm still alive...

It's been a ridiculously long time since I've been in blog land but life has been a little too complicated to put out there lately. Update on the last post; I have lost approximately 13 pounds which is great but have been falling off the wagon a bit lately - I haven't gained anything back though so I'm hopeful to get back on track after the holiday.
I miss the innocent bliss of the holiday season of my youth. The older I get the more things creep in to make this time of year an emotional mine field. Part of me wants to just say fuck it and skip all festivities completely and part of me is still striving to get back the feeling I had even just a few years ago - hell even last year was at least pleasant and sadly that too has been lost due to events of the past year. None of which will be discussed here to preserve the feelings and dignity of the people I love. I just have to accept the fact that I may never get back the total enjoyment of the holidays and right now I'm in mourning over that fact. This year for some reason I'm especially missing my Uncle Jim for Thanksgiving and my Geba (grandmother, hey I was 1 and that was what I came up with LOL) for Christmas even though they've both been gone for a while now. Sigh...
On lighter notes, I have been writing some lately, trying to edit down the 16 chapters I have so far and see if I can find my way to the end of the story. I'm also potentially going to be doing a short film of my short story "Escape" which is really exciting! It's so weird to think of myself doing a movie LOL! It really brings to light for me just how mundane the movie business is and how ridiculous our idolization of actors and film makers is. Random thought I know ;-)
I will do my best to keep up with my blog better but as you know the best intentions are often led astray.